My Buddy and Me

Today was Ruby's first day of Kindergarten. She was a rock star: all smiles, excitement, and enthusiasm. I was a disaster: blubbering, waterworks, and the kind of hugs that embarrass your children:

I was trying to explain my sadness about this to my best friend Lindsay, and here is what it really boils down to. I'm losing my buddy.



Ever since the girls were born they've gone to daycare. I've never really known what it's like to be a stay-at-home mom and, frankly, I was always okay with that. But last year I quit my job to go back to school and, as such, I had a lot of time with my Ruby Girl because she was only in half-time preschool. And even though it was tiring and challenging at times, it was also ... a little magical. She was 4 last year and she's a very bright girl, so it was less about me taking care of her needs (she knows how to get a drink of water or when to go potty on her own) and more about just, sort of, hanging out. We ran errands and had lunch and cooked dinner and read books and fetched Cici from the bus stop -- TOGETHER. Every day. Me and Rubes. And it was pretty terrific. If you know Ruby you know what I mean; she's fun and funny and silly and smart and sassy and is an AMAZING belcher. These are all qualities you want in a person that you spend A LOT of time with, ya know?

Saying good-bye to Ruby this morning was more than just sending my baby off to Kindergarten, it was losing my really awesome playmate. And that totally breaks my heart.

When I picked her up today she was so excited to share her day, but her teacher mentioned that at one point she seemed a little sad. I asked her why she got a little sad, and she said it was because she was thinking about me and started to miss me but then remembered all the fun things to do and was fine. I just have to think about all the things she's going to learn and love about school and, hopefully, I'll be fine, too.